Important Birth Insights Beyond the Class
To Own & Love Your Birth
Many parents feel more prepared for their impending birth after hours of classes. Stages of labor, check. Partner skills, check. Medical interventions, check. Baby basics, check. Good on ya for doing the work to learn about this amazing process, but you’re not done yet. Birth expands us, not just physically in every way but also mentally, emotionally and in our capacity to advocate for ourselves and our new baby.
The reality of our current medical model of birth is a huge power imbalance with providers at the top of the hierarchy. That makes it hard to take your newly acquired knowledge & your innately wise intuition into your birth and own it. Owning your birth describes making the best choices you can for your body, baby & birth. You will carry this birth with you for the rest of your life; not your doula, not the labor nurse, not the midwife, you.
You can’t know how your birth-day will unfold – part of your initiation into parenting is this beautiful surrendering. But you can make choices that make you feel better about the unfolding, even in it’s mystery. When we feel good about our choices, when we share in the decision making for ourselves, we can love the outcome, surprises and all.
Choose Aligned Care
One of the biggest choices that will impact your birth is the team you surround yourself with – provider, place of birth & birth support. Is everyone aligned with your vision of birth? If so, add another check. If not, make some changes.
Many people don’t feel 100 about their provider, but they are reticent to change once care is established. Good girl programming influences it because we don’t want to hurt feelings or worry about changing practices late in pregnancy.
Examining how supported you feel by them in pregnancy is crucial to feeling good during & after birth. You should feel good after spending time with them. You should feel heard and seen.
Do they answer your questions or do they rush out the door? Do they discourage birth plans or do they encourage you to explore all your options? Whatever you want your birth to look like, this is the person outside of yourself, with the most influence over that.
They can have the best personality, the nicest office, the most attentive staff and be covered by your insurance, but if they are not aligned with your wishes, they really aren’t the doctor or midwife for you.
Avoid Unnecessary Induction
I have supported thousands of families as they prepare for their birth journeys. I have also listened to countless birth stories to hear the unfolding, and there are definitely some common themes on the rise. There is an idea that we can control labor, but the most we can do is influence it and hope for the best.
Many of the intense birth stories begin with a medical induction and end with distressed parents & baby. Not every single induction is complicated but many of them are. Unless there are actual benefits for your family – do not induce.
Reasons to possibly induce according to the American College of Obstetrics & Gynecology: (remember that different providers assess risk uniquely according to their practice style and comfort level)
- your health: uncontrolled diabetes or gestational diabetes, preeclampsia or eclampsia, issues with your lungs, heart or kidneys
- your baby: growth restriction, low amniotic fluid, placental issues, uterine infection
- 41-42 weeks pregnant (not 39 & not necessary if you and baby are both doing fine – request a non-stress test instead)
- suspected big baby (weight is always a guess, even with ultrasounds)
- to accommodate your provider’s schedule or vacation
- tax break
- cool Zodiac sign or favorite birth date
- tired of being pregnant – I know, I remember!
- the ARRIVE trial which encourages 39 week induction
- IVF families (IVF alone does not require induction)
- a non-stress test with a questionable reading, have someone else read it or repeat the test
- you’re labeled geriatric (when in reality you are barely 35)
Every mom/baby dyad is different. Every provider has a different threshold of what they are comfortable supporting (see Aligned Providers). Most providers have a standard practice style which may or may not include high induction rates.
Medically necessary inductions are very useful, but induction methods come with their own set of risks. Make sure that the benefits outweigh the risks. Remember, you can always explore deeper or ask for another opinion if an induction is recommended to you.
Delay the Hospital
If you somehow avoided your induction date, stay out of the hospital as long as humanly possible once spontaneous labor begins.
The sooner you get to the birth place, the more interventions you are likely to receive from monitoring to vaginal exams to medications to augmentation methods. The hospital usually doesn’t set you up with a lovely room for a long labor. (Unless it is a 3 day induction, which seems like a double standard really.) Their philosophy is a much more expedient, economically sound one – get in and get out.
If you are looking for an epidural, you are in the right place. If you are looking for a hot shower and a double hip squeeze, please stay home where your hormones can flow and labor can progress more organically.
It is ok to head to the hospital for a check up, but be forewarned that you might be encouraged to stay, even if heading home is a better option. You also don’t have to stay because it is recommended by a provider. If you and baby look happy and healthy, do what feels best for you.
Find Your Voice
Practice speaking up and expressing what you want. If you find it hard to use your voice in everyday life, that dynamic will carry over into your birth care as well. Take the time to tell people what you prefer when the stakes are smaller so that you are an expert when the stakes are higher.
This is the only time you are giving birth to this baby. What you want is important. What happens in your birth matters. In labor, you should ask for what you need, you and your baby both deserve it!
Prep Your Body & Mind for Birth
Practice for your birth. Modern life doesn’t usually set us up for successful birthing. You have to make a conscious effort to prepare. You wouldn’t prepare for a marathon by running a few miles here and there and then just go for it on the big day.
The same goes for labor. Most women are woefully underprepared for the physical marathon of labor and birth. Building stamina & moving with a full range of motion will make birthing more manageable.
Modern life + growing a baby usually drains all of your energy. You don’t have to engage in a big exercise program, but you can work some movement into your life weekly – yoga, walking, stretching & dancing are all amazing ways to lengthen & strengthen for birth.
Breathwork & meditation are other tools that you can tap into more easily with a daily practice. The truth is that all of the amazing information we pour into our minds, gets shut off once you enter labor land anyway so the information your body remembers is how to move, how to breathe, how to flow with your baby in labor.
Birth Matters for You & Your Baby
There is an undeniable transformational aspect to pregnancy, labor, birth, breastfeeding & the early postpartum period. Becoming a parent is one of the most massive physical, emotional and hormonal transitions that your body, mind & life will ever undertake. They are closely intertwined and rely on each other.
Our birth experiences greatly impact postpartum recovery, establishing breastfeeding/chestfeeding & learning to parent. A more complicated and possibly traumatic experience might include a longer recovery time for your body which naturally makes it harder to parent when in pain or immobile. It can impact mood and desire to parent. It can impact baby’s body which can increase their pain, fussiness and then affect proper feeding behaviors.
Yes, birth can be complex and out of our control , but the choices that impact your birth, are usually within your control. When you feel good about your choices during childbirth, not only can it improve birth outcomes but it can boost your confidence when parenting as well.
Learning to use your voice to make choices for your family during pregnancy & birth is just the beginning of a long journey that you will take with your child, filled with a myriad of choices to come.