Bare Birth

Teaching Birth with Interacty

Amanda Hilton — Fri, 02 Feb 2024 03:04:55 +0000

Unlocking Engagement in Birth Classes with Interacty

Interesting Ways to Explore Pregnancy, Birth, Babies & Breastfeeding

In the digital age, where attention is as fleeting as it is valuable, engaging an audience requires more than just compelling content; it demands an interactive and immersive experience. This is particularly true in educational settings, where the traditional lecture format often falls short of capturing the interest of learners. As an educator specializing in birth classes, I’ve ventured into various methods to enrich my teaching approach, and one software that stands out is Interacty. This versatile tool has transformed my classes into interactive hubs where learning is not just absorbed but experienced.

Here are a few of my favorite templates that I have customized for my classroom.

Spin the Wheel

I use Spin the Wheel to tackle tough topics in my Breastfeeding Class. It saves me time by answering common misconceptions, and the customizable eye-catching colors and photos are an added bonus.

Parents can click on the wheel, land on a topic and it automatically pulls up more pictures and text to fully engage them. My topics include the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines on giving human milk, colostrum harvesting, breastfeeding rates over the decades & alcohol intake.

It is “convenient” for people that arrive a bit early and pull out their phones anyway. I have inserted topics that are not necessarily core material, but often come up in class. Definitely a win-win!

Fortune Cookies

Fortune Cookies or “Birth Fortunes” help me teach about the unpredictability of birth. Just like you never know what fortune you might get, you never know what might pop up in your birth.

Teaching parents flexibility and advocacy are key concepts in my classroom. After we learn all about hospital interventions, this activity is a nice little reflective activity for partners to do together.

Twelve fortunes pop up on the screen. You pick one at random and discuss with your partner what you would do if this occurred in your labor. Most parents don’t like to plan for unpreferred outcomes so it is a great way for them think hard and even script out dialogue to help them navigate various scenarios.

My Birth Fortunes explore topics such as:

unwanted vaginal exams
high Cesarean rates
pain medication
inductions
birthing positions
& birth plans

Interactive Image

This is my favorite feature so far! I have created an Interactive Image of a newborn baby to discuss Normal Newborn Characteristics.

Fresh newborns come equipped with a variety of features that are perfectly normal but also completely foreign to most new parents.

This interactive game is very easy to navigate. A beautiful image has little buttons strategically placed all over the baby so you can learn about different parts of the body. One of the best parts of Interacty, is the countless images that you have access to in their library. I found so many amazing pictures of newborn babies to include!

On the baby’s head, you can click and learn more about molding. When you choose it, another quality image pulls up and you scroll for more detailed information on the topic. You can navigate around the body in no particular order to explore what to expect when your little one arrives.

This is very helpful for adults that haven’t had much experience with babies and are worried about lots of little things, like cord stumps and crossed eyes, both of which are perfectly normal!

My next project is an Interactive Image of the milk making anatomy in the breast so parents can learn the biology behind breastfeeding.

Interacty is a Game-Changer

Incorporating Interacty into my birth classes has been a game-changer, quite literally. It has enabled me to deliver content in a way that’s engaging, memorable, and impactful. For educators looking to spice up their teaching methods or for anyone interested in creating interactive content, Interacty is a tool worth exploring. Its ability to transform passive learning into an active, enjoyable experience is not just innovative; it’s essential in today’s digital learning landscape.

The post Teaching Birth with Interacty appeared first on Bare Birth.

Prenatal Exercise Programs

Amanda Hilton — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 00:29:38 +0000

Prenatal Exercise Programs

Online Exercise Programs to Enhance Your Pregnancy + Prep for Your Birth

Moving your body during pregnancy has all of the same amazing benefits as moving it before pregnancy: heart health, improved mood, strength, stamina, flexibility, and an overall feeling of well-being. In addition to your body and brain benefits, it improves oxygenation to your baby’s placenta for their growth & development too.

Below are a few reasons why finding a prenatal program specific for your growing body can be beneficial.

Pregnancy Changes

That Can Make Movement Challenging

A pregnant body has many changes it undergoes:

increased blood volume
compressed lungs
displaced heart
expanded ribs
stretching connective tissue between your abdominals
instability in the pelvis
different center of gravity
increased load on the pelvic floor
pressure on your bladder
a uterus expanding to take up most of the abdominal cavity

With this many changes in such a short period of time, it makes sense to reevaluate how you can best support your body. Just because you can still do certain movements, it doesn’t mean you should.

Why Modify Movements?

Give Yourself Some Extra Love Right Now

Even if you were active pre-pregnancy, it can be very kind to your body to slow down and be gentle. There are many challenges to exercising because of the heavy load your body has to carry and the changes prepping your for an impending birth:

shortness of breath
muscles might be hypermobile
balance can be off
pelvic floor can feel heavy
a growing belly gets in the way
not to mention nausea and exhaustion make moving difficult

In addition to your safety, is your baby’s safety. You should always be able to carry out the “talk test” when exercising which means you can comfortably talk while getting your heart rate a little elevated. If you are huffing & puffing, unable to get your words out, that is a cue to take the intensity down a notch.

Prenatal + Postnatal Pregnancy Programs

A program designed for your changing body during pregnancy and the recovery time after birth is a great way to stay active while balancing your new body’s needs.

During pregnancy, strength and stamina are great to build for the major endurance activity of labor & birth. But your body actually needs more than just strength – suppleness is a nice balance to strength. A belly that allows for expansion and growth is a beautiful thing. Pelvic floor muscles that relax, drop and make way for your baby to enter the world are key to the process.

Many programs incorporate a bit of learning about birth into the mix with a focus on learning to push and breathe your baby out. That is something you don’t find in general exercise programs, and it is a key skill to birthing your baby. An added benefit is the gentle postpartum component. It can be a nice bridge to actually rehab your core and pelvic floor while gently working back up to your previous workout regimen. Waiting until your provider clears you to run again at 6 weeks postpartum and then lacing up your running shoes might not be the best way to go!

Prenatal programs are geared towards safety & efficacy during all stages of your pregnancy & postpartum rehab. Here are a few that I recommend to pregnant families if they want keep their bodies moving and have a little edge when getting their babies out + recovering from birth.

Hidden Benefits for Birth

Birth is active! It requires strength, stamina, surrender, focus, breathing & sometimes some interesting body positions.

Here are a few ways that moving throughout pregnancy might boost your birth:

finding your edge (uncomfortable but not painful) frequently allows you to sit with unpreferred sensations (ahem, contractions) & practice your instinctive coping techniques (breathing, focus, mantras)
birth can be loooooong and exhausting so building stamina is very useful in assisting you with a long, tiring labor
core & pelvic floor connection helps you learn how to push your baby out
rhythmic activities like dancing (belly dancing) or a fluid yoga practice help you find your flow, just like you need to in labor
tapping into pelvic movements ahead of time & unlocking your sacral chakra can let your energy flow down & out in labor
moving your hips & pelvis now, makes you more comfortable with the natural movements people make to assist their babies in navigating a pelvis
endorphins assist in your labor so moving in the last few weeks of pregnancy can prime your hormonal birth cocktail
practicing labor positions and movements makes it easier to find the same fluid, rocking moves while actually in labor

Special Concerns

If you are experiencing any of these conditions during pregnancy, proceed with caution and always consult with your provider before beginning an exercise program.

low blood pressure
high blood pressure
pubic bone dysfunction
pelvic girdle pain
diastasis
gestational diabetes
severe anemia
multiples
placenta previa late in pregnancy
preterm labor
cerclage

If you experience any of these sensations while exercising, stop immediately and contact your provider.

dizziness
faintness
shortness of breath
calf pain or swelling
chest pain
headaches
bleeding from the vagina
gush of fluid from the vagina
contractions with a pattern

Get Your Bump Moving

Pregnancy is a time of immense physical change that benefits from tailored body support. Moving in a modified way can decrease your pregnancy discomforts & improve your mood. It is also good practice for labor – listen to your body and only move in a way that feels good for you.

The post Prenatal Exercise Programs appeared first on Bare Birth.

Rookie Birth Prep Mistakes

Amanda Hilton — Fri, 29 Dec 2023 03:12:10 +0000

Rookie Birth Preparation Mistakes

From a Veteran Childbirth Educator

After teaching birth prep for 20 years, attending 2 separate childbirth classes for myself and giving birth to my own 3 kiddos, I have seen a lot in the birth classroom. I have observed repetitive themes over and over, and I would love to give you rookies some veteran advice so you can enjoy the process just a little bit more.

Below are the most common mistakes that I see on repeat.

No Prep at All

Only about half of all 1st time pregnant families attend a childbirth preparation course. Unless you are fully steeped in birth culture, which most people in the West are not, there is probably a lot to learn about this major life event happening to your mind & body.

Even if you work in the birth realm, you are about to embark on this journey from the other side. It is beneficial for anyone about to go through labor to ponder the best possible choices for themselves.

Trust me, I have labor nurses, pediatricians, anesthesiologists and the occasional O.B. pass through class because they are now viewing birth through an entirely different lens. Being on the receiving end of an internal exam will do that.

I also get the occasional 2nd time birther who didn’t do class with the first pregnancy and learned their lesson – the more you know, the better.

Avoiding Birth

I get it, birth can seem scary, especially when everyone you encounter feels the need to debrief their traumatic birth story to you.

Many pregnant people avoid reading about labor, listening to podcasts, watching birth videos or taking classes because they want to avoid it entirely.

Now is probably not the time. Now is the time to gain different perspectives, learn about the process, collect a variety of birth stories and explore what type of birth you would like. It might seem scary at first, but it prepares you so that it doesn’t feel so scary when it is actually happening to you. Fear does not promote labor, it shuts it down.

Skipping Birth Classes

I know you are busy. I know your partner is busy. I know that birth classes are a commitment in your already overcommitted life. If you can clear just a few extra hours to make sure you soak up all the information, birth will make much more sense.

If we put as many hours into prepping for birth as we did planning vacations, weddings or other events, we would be set.

How many hours did you possibly spend finding just the right venue for a wedding? How about finding just the right venue for your baby to make their debut? Did you debate which photographer was the right fit for you? Ensuring that you and your birth provider are on the same page is priceless.

Don’t skip that class if at all possible, or at least find a make-up to make sure you don’t have gaps in your information.

Dismissing Movement

This is a biggie! There are so many birth options available – homebirth, birth centers, hospitals, obstetricians, midwives, family practice doctors, medications, doulas….

On the most basic physiologic level, when you move your body in labor, your baby can move their body to navigate through. Even if you are planning an epidural, which impedes movement, knowing how to optimally use your body is an amazing labor tool.

Every good birth class practices movements that make more space for baby and promote labor. I have had participants refuse to move on the basis of their epidural choice in labor. That is valid, we don’t move a lot with an epidural, but what about prior to that? Most labors don’t start at the hospital so most labors require some coping skills before you are admitted and it can even be administered.

Even if you are induced, adding an epidural in after the 1st contraction isn’t productive and you will still have lots of movement time while labor builds in intensity.

Some level of modified movement that feels good in your body can ease discomfort, promote labor progress, assist your baby’s movement and shorten labor time. Give it a go!

Going Solo

Many people choose solo parenting, but many people with partners arrive at class alone. If you have a partner that is going to be attending the birth, then they should also be attending classes with you.

I know it can be hard to make it to class, but a partner that is wholly unprepared to give quality support is more of a hindrance than an asset.

Birth classes are geared for partners with hands-on techniques, labor etiquette and ways to take care of your own needs so you can be the best support possible.

If you have a partner unwilling or unable to attend classes, I would consider a birth doula or other family or friend who is well-versed in birth to provide great support.

Misalignment with Providers

Your birth place and birth provider are the two biggest choices you make during pregnancy that influence your birth outcome.

Make sure that your provider aligns with your birth values. They can have a lovely office and be really great humans but have a differing view on what birth looks like.

If you want a highly medically managed birth with all the medications and surgeons on hand – a hospital with your obstetrician sounds like a good fit.

If you desire a hands-off, unmedicated approach, a team of midwives, possibly out of hospital, are amazing at supporting physiologic birth.

There is no right or wrong, but there can be a right or wrong for you. Your provider should feel supportive and encouraging when you share your ideas for birth with them. If you are dismissed, not heard or generally don’t feel great about your interactions, it is never too late to change providers.

Find the Right Birth Prep for You

There are so many great options for childbirth preparation. There are programs focused on movement, hypnobirthing, planned Cesareans, Lamaze techniques, homebirthing, preparing for the hospital, the list is really endless and you should be able to find one that falls into one of the categories below.

Local, live classes
Online, in-person cohorts
Virtual, self-paced programs

Find one that resonates with you, and for the love of birth, just take it!

The post Rookie Birth Prep Mistakes appeared first on Bare Birth.

Water Baby

Amanda Hilton — Fri, 29 Dec 2023 02:48:24 +0000

My Water Birth Experience

At Home in a Birth Pool

I have always been drawn to the idea of a waterbirth. It took 4 pregnancies and 3 births to get there, but I finally did it. My 1st birth was a very uneventful, unmedicated hospital experience. My 2nd birth was an exciting, accidental freebirth on land. My 3rd finally landed in the water, safe & sound. Here are a few pointers I learned from his water birth.

Prepping the Pool

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wait until you are in labor to blow up the birth pool. That monstrosity takes time to inflate, clean & fill with warm water. Decide where it fits best in your space and where you want to labor. Factor in water supply & proximity for easy filling. It took over my entire dining room for months because I was not risking it.

Redecorate your birth space with your birth pool plus fairy lights, a birth altar, candles & visible birth affirmations. We want good birth vibes in here!

My suggestions:

Blow it up ahead of time
As soon as you realize you are in labor, start filling it
Keep it covered to keep it warm – it loses heat fast!
Use it anytime in labor to get some pain relief + muscle relaxation
Decorate your birth space around the pool for good vibes
Keep cold water to drink by the tub in case you are feeling very warm

Positions in the Pool

Birth tubs are very versatile in labor. They provide a soft, warm, buoyant space for you – just like your womb provides for your baby. Warm water eases pain, increases relaxation, triggers your birth hormones and gives you the freedom to move into a multitude of positions.

You might plan on water and then not enjoy the tub. It’s okay to change your mind. At least have it available if you think hydrotherapy might be a great tool to try.

Common birth pool positions:

leaning back with the soft edge supporting your shoulders, head or neck
all 4’s with the soft edge supporting your forehead
the seat inside can support your bum or your hands, depending on your direction
leaning back onto your partner who is suited up and inside with you
pelvic opening, seated, asymmetrical positions
standing or squatting while holding onto another person
hanging on a bar or strong rope dangling above
partners can massage neck, backs, hips, but they are in the splash zone so plan accordingly
kneeling pad (gardening pad) for partners next to the tub is a bonus
young children love water and might enjoy splashing around in there with you if you are ok with it

Pushing in the Pool

Pushing in the birth pool is also an option, especially if you are birthing in a birth center or at home. Hospitals sometimes utilize hydrotherapy but have policies firmly in place about babies exiting into the pool. Check with your birthplace if you are curious.

My not so little guy was coming quickly so I only spent about an hour in the pool, all pushing time. It is a really cool sensation for them to slowly exit in the water and a natural progression for them to move from fluid inside of you to fluid outside of you and then slowly up to your chest.

Pushing help:

mirror or light in the pool so you can see your baby exit
if you crown on all 4’s, they will pass through your legs and you can turn around and rest back with them on your chest
can be a slower, gentler stretch on the perineum when your baby crowns
keep a towel close by to cover them up or try to keep them in the water for warmth

Pooping in the Pool Plus Clean Up

People poop in birth, period. People poop when they birth in the water. The good news is that there isn’t a pool evacuation when this happens. The quick solution is a small fishing net. Yep! Cleans it out real quick and then you can get right back to pushing.

Once your baby arrives, the afterbirth makes an appearance within the hour. If the water has been virtually clear up until now, it is about to make a color change to usually a deep crimson hue with blood and birth fluids. Don’t panic, this is obviously very normal.

Once out of the tub, the real fun begins because now someone has to clean it all up – drain, disinfect & deflate to put it simply.

The post Water Baby appeared first on Bare Birth.

Breastfeeding Challenges or Concerns

Amanda Hilton — Mon, 27 Nov 2023 04:19:26 +0000

Breastfeeding Challenges & Concerns

Early Problems: How to Avoid + How to Heal Potential Problems

Engorgement

The Basics

hard, painful, swollen breasts – ouch!
may initially present between days 3-5 post birth when milk transitions from lower volume colostrum to higher volume mature milk
can reoccur when this is a mismatch between milk production & milk removal

The Causes

early postpartum engorgement happens due to an increase in blood & lymph fluid to support mature milk production
may begin to feel overly full when milk is not being moved (by baby or expressing) at regular intervals
skipping feeds
skipping pumps
baby sleeps for a longer stretch
inability to remove milk

The Treatments

ice to reduce swelling
lymph massage to move fluid
reverse pressure softening: pressing around the areola gently to disperse fluid
warm shower may help to soften tissue
hand expressing to get milk flowing & soften the breasts
get baby feeding often & well
avoid long stretches between feeds or pumps
keep the milk moving!

Low Milk Supply

The Basics

motto: must move milk to make milk
everyone has different amounts of milk making cells (glandular tissue) & milk refill rates
milk is made on a demand & supply basis
1st milk is colostrum: a specially formulated, low volume milk for a newborn’s tiny tummy
most people don’t feel flowing milk until it transitions on day 3-5 after birth (see Engorgement above)

The Causes

mature milk may be delayed in a cesarean or complicated birth
if milk is not removed with a baby or a pump frequently, your body gets the signal to downregulate milk production
if the milk cells are constantly full of milk, your brain receives signals to stop making milk
dehydration – your body needs water to make milk
hormonal concerns like PCOS may impede the hormonal component to making milk
previous breast surgery (reduction) may affect the milk ducts or tissue
insufficient glandular tissue means a lack of milk making cells
introducing bottles of formula before milk supply is established may fill your baby up and reduce their amount of feeds

The Treatments

move the milk – at least 8-12x/24 hours
offer dinner & dessert at each feed (both sides)
ensure baby is latching properly & actually removing milk
work with a lactation consultant to boost supply with special pumping/feeding schedules designed to stimulate production
galactagogues: foods, herbs & medications that can increase supply
supplementing with donor milk or formula to feed your baby while working on your supply

Sore Nipples

The Basics

usually presents a few days after a baby starts latching
look for signs of improper latch before pain starts: nipples may be creased or look like a lipstick
improper feeding/pumping may lead to bleeding or bruising on the nipples
may also happen when pumping is initiated and not done correctly

The Causes

#1 reason is an improper latch
poor positioning may make a good latch difficult
oral restrictions like tongue or lip ties can contribute
pumping too vigorously, too long or with ill fitting flanges
infections like thrush can be painful in the nipples as well

The Treatments

fix the latch
release oral restrictions if necessary to attain a good latch
soothe the nipples
lanolin cream for moist wound healing on the nipple
your own milk is very healing so let it drip on your nipples
silver nipple shields may heal & prevent infection on wounded nipples

Mastitis Inflammation Spectrum

The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine released newly updated mastitis protocol guidelines in 2022. The inflammation spectrum is broken down into 3 categories, outlined below.

Swollen Milk Ducts

The Basics

low level inflammation causes swelling & narrowing of the milk ducts
may feel sore, small lumps
very localized

The Causes

oversupply of milk
disrupted breast microbiome

The Treatments

ice & anti-inflammatories
no massage, heat or trying to remove “plugged ducts” (it is not a plug of milk)

Mastitis

The Basics

breast tissue is infected
systemic flu-like symptoms: pain, fever, body aches
may see red streaks on the infected breast/chest tissue
very sore & painful on the infected side

The Causes

oversupply of milk
disrupted breast microbiome

The Treatments

ice & anti-inflammatories
feed or hand express to keep milk moving
do not overstimulate the infected side
milk is still fine for baby
downregulate milk supply
work with microbiome to rebalance healthy bacteria

Bacterial Mastitis

The Basics

breast tissue is infected
systemic with flu-like symptoms: pain, fever, body aches
may see red streaks on the infected breast/chest tissue
very sore & painful on the infected side
not resolving within 24-48 hours with treatment

The Causes

oversupply of milk
disrupted breast microbiome

The Treatments

ice & anti-inflammatories
feed or hand express to keep milk moving
do not overstimulate the infected side
milk is still fine for baby
downregulate milk supply
work with microbiome to rebalance healthy bacteria
may add in antibiotics per healthcare provider’s advice

Milk Making Resources

Support for all stages of your lactation journey is available in many different platforms.

PODCASTS:

The Milk Minute
The Badass Breastfeeder
Spilling the Milk
Breastfeeding Outside the Box
The Boob Group

WEBSITES:

BOOKS:

Work Pump Repeat by Jessica Shortall
Latch by Robin Kaplan
Boobin’ All Day, Boobin’ All Night by Meg Nagle

APPS:

LactRx for medications
Medela Family Baby Tracker
iLet Down
Latch ME
Breastfeeding Solutions

The post Breastfeeding Challenges or Concerns appeared first on Bare Birth.

Giving Birth with an Abusive Partner

Amanda Hilton — Sun, 26 Nov 2023 21:07:46 +0000

Giving Birth with an Abusive Partner

My Reflections on Birthing with Horrible Labor Support

My first marriage was abusive. We don’t need to spiral into the reasons why I ended up in a verbally, emotionally & physically abusive marriage at 19. I was in it. I was there. I was living an isolated existence in fear. About 5 years into this poor excuse for a life, I was pregnant.

I was shocked. I was excited. I was stressed. I was perpetually nauseous. I was massive. I left him a few months after she was born. Since I cut him out of our lives, and literally cut him out of her birth pictures, I seem to have erased him from the actual birth as well. I retell the story with no mention of him.

In actuality, I have just repressed what it was like to have horrible, controlling, scary, isolating birth support. I use the word support here very loosely.

Control

Abusers need to control you to maintain power. The first power play during my pregnancy came with my choice of providers. I had a lovely midwife doing my routine well woman care. My desire was an unmedicated, low intervention birth so a homebirth with her seemed a natural choice for me.

He didn’t quite agree and very quickly told me the hospital was the only safe place for me to give birth. Even though that is the popular idea in the U.S., that isn’t completely accurate. I wonder if he was truly worried for our safety or if he was just taking away my autonomy. Perhaps, I should have expressed the desire to birth in a hospital to get the homebirth I dreamed of.

So I voraciously began reading all of the natural childbirth books I could find and seeking out an OB that would “allow” me to have the birth I wanted. Again, the only acceptable and safe healthcare choice for a pregnant person apparently. I was now planning a physiologic birth with a surgeon in an institution that didn’t support it.

Even with a “supportive provider” and a birth plan, I was preparing to fight my way through birth policies and procedures instead of just enjoying the process.

Owning Your Birth: Step #1 - Birth Provider

Step #1 of owning your birth (besides ditching the abusive asshole) is choosing your provider and birth place that absolutely, unequivocally aligns with your vision of birth. No working around routines, no bargaining with staff, just support and safety for both you & your baby

Isolation

I was already deeply isolated from having an extensive network of family & friends. I had a few work companions, and no close friends that I hung out with. I did however have close contact with my small, immediate family.

When setting up my support team it looked like, well, just him.

I wanted my mom to be with me during birth desperately since she inspired me with her own amazing birth stories my whole life.

Women need women in birth. That was vetoed on the premise of him just wanting it to be us in the room. I pushed back a bit more than I usually would have, and we agreed that she could film the birth when I was actually pushing.

I did veto his mom who wanted to just hang out in there with me though.

Laboring Solo

When labor began, I just stayed home. For a long time. Alone. With no food or help. He had a handy man at our house fixing some plumbing situation that wasn’t crucial, and I think he spent most of the day with him. Because plumbers need support while they are working, right?

I drove myself (not a practice I usually recommend) to my mom’s house to take a shower, see plumbing issues above. I stopped at a market on the way to get myself some food on the way. I think my mom wanted me to stay so she could support me, but I did a quick photo op once I was scrubbed up and went home, again, driving myself…in labor. I constantly look back on that opportunity to spend my labor getting support from my mom, but I was conditioned to leave.

Back home, things took an interesting twist when “we” decided to walk a few blocks away to a taco joint. Tacos! That I wasn’t eating so my butthole didn’t explode in labor! By this point, I was contracting consistently, and I felt like my insides were planning on falling out. First baby, I was only 3 cm but perspective. He must have been hungry after supporting the plumber all day.

Once at the hospital, I only remember laboring alone in my birth space. I have no freaking idea where he was or what he was doing. In all fairness, when in your birth brain, we don’t remember things as clearly. I literally cannot recall him massaging me or supporting me during any positions at any time.

In the bathroom, vomiting and other fun toileting activities, alone. Showering, alone. Leaning over the bed, rocking and breathing, alone. My knees kept buckling because I was so tired, I was falling asleep. No idea where he was.

Apparently, my mom tried to come into the L&D room to check on me at some point and he slammed the door in her face to prevent it. Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone. I labored alone.

Did my mom end up filming the birth? Yep. She stood in the corner for 3 hours of pushing holding a stupid video camera (before camera phones were a thing).

Even though I was unmedicated, I ended up on the hospital bed, with my “supportive provider” breaking my bags of waters and directing my pushing instead of assisting in positions that would have actually moved her down effectively.

The only time I remember my husband stepping in and “helping” was during this stage of labor. He was a personal trainer. So the only thing he was good at was counting and loudly “inspiring” me like we were in the gym training. I didn’t need anyone counting loudly at my vagina. I was good. .

Owning Your Birth: Step #2 - Support Team

Step #2 of owning your birth is finding your support people. Not the providers – the continuous, amazing, doulas, friends or family that can support you and your partner, because I am hoping you already have an amazing partner.

Finding My Power

I was inspired by my mom to choose a natural, non-medicated birth. My birth unfolded mostly the way I planned (except for the tacos, amnihook and pushing on my back). The choice to forgo medications was mine alone. We did attend birth class together, and I read a ton so I knew my options.

After my birth, he was singing the praises to other pregnant friends about how awesome unmedicated birth is. Really dude!?! You didn’t do shit. You didn’t even support in a way that would have tired you out, but you thought I should work that hard alone. I am curious if he was enjoying my suffering or if he was seeing it as Eve’s punishment since he was one of those God-fearing, church-going abusive types.

I didn’t. I just knew I was a badass powerhouse that could bring my baby into the world, with or without his help. I feel like I regained some of my power during that experience. My power play post birth, still recovering, was to leave the situation with my new baby girl. Nobody deserves to be isolated, controlled, mistreated, demeaned or dismissed, especially when you have the power to create an entire human being and help them land earthside.

Thanks, Faith. Thank you for helping me find my inner strength to make our lives better.

More information on how abuse can affect you and your unborn baby during pregnancy & birth.

If you are in an abusive relationship, there is help. 1-800-799-SAFE

The post Giving Birth with an Abusive Partner appeared first on Bare Birth.

Build a Birth Playlist

Amanda Hilton — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 20:13:04 +0000

Build a Birth Playlist

How Music Enhances Your Labor Experience

Many different areas of the brain light up when listening to music. It can evoke memories, produce dopamine, increase pleasure, regulate emotions and influence coordination & movement.

With all of those benefits, it seems like it might be a really great tool to add to your birth kit. Here are a few reasons why I recommend parents build their own personalized playlist for birth.

Before you completely write it off, do you have playlists for other activities such as: commuting, working, exercising, cooking, cleaning, relaxation, showering? If you answered yes, it’s because music makes you feel good, and it can help during labor as well.

#1: Brings Joy

Listening to music makes us feel good. Feel good chemicals like oxytocin can enhance your labor and dopamine make you feel awesome. Oxytocin is your primary birth hormone – the more the merrier!

A state of bliss is beneficial for the whole labor team so bring it on!

#2: Encourages Movement

Music makes you move! Finding your flow in labor is key. Tapping into your innate birth wisdom through movement & breathing can progress labor, increase pleasure, reduce pain, decrease stress, shapeshift your pelvis and improve labor, emotionally & physically.

#3: Influences Mood

Music is a major mood modulator. A song can change the vibe in an instant. Attending a rock concert elicits a different energy than entering a spa.

Some people prefer to keep it personal and wear ear pods. The cool things is that it can shift the feel of a whole room as well. It can influence the entire labor team in a peaceful, positive or energizing way which only benefits the labor.

#4: Enhances Practice

My mission is to get people moving in labor. Creating your playlist prenatally provides an opportunity to practice. Embody birth with productive positions and breathwork and practice with your favorite songs. Not only will it get your body primed for birth, but it will condition you to move, relax and find your flow when you hear your playlist.

Musical Cheat Sheet:

Your birth music should include songs you love, feel connected to, make you want to move, help you find a rhythm, relax your nervous system & make you happy. You might have different playlists for various stages of labor; perhaps chill in early labor, rhythmic once labor takes off, and a little more hyped up for pushing. Just include some variation, and keep in mind that it’s ok to turn it off in labor because you hate it all of a sudden or need quiet. You do not have to listen.

Here are a few sample birth playlists to get you started:

The post Build a Birth Playlist appeared first on Bare Birth.

Baby Naming Tips

Amanda Hilton — Sun, 13 Aug 2023 16:18:34 +0000

Baby Naming Tips

Give Your Kid a Kickass Name That's Unique to Them

Names are powerful. They have history, they have meaning, they have ancestry & they will be repeated countless times over the course of your child’s life. Make it good.

As parents, we tend to spend endless hours scouring baby name lists, taking recommendations from family members, arguing with partners & making lists of the names that make the final cut.

After years of choosing names and then dealing with the aftermath, I have a few tips to consider when choosing your child’s title that will stick with them for the rest of their life. No pressure!

Tip #1: Easy to Spell

Creativity is awesome. Thank goodness we have expanded beyond Henry & Mary, even though they are nice solid names. No offense if that is your moniker!

Many people like to put a twist on an old classic with interesting spellings, so the name is essentially the same & different simultaneously. This is always your choice, but I wanted to make life a bit easier on my own children.

One of my naming criteria was spelling. It should be easy to spell. I didn’t want my kids to constantly spell out their unique spelling of their name. I assume that after 100x, it gets old.

My middle child is a Ruby instead of a Scarlet/Scarlett because I didn’t want to clarify the # of “T’s”. No shaming you Scarlet(t)s out there – it’s an awesome name!

If this is your first baby, you might be completely underprepared for the amount of paperwork and appointments involved in raising humans. If you think this is a silly tip, I get it. After 22 years of parenting, the sheer amount of times I have written or verbalized their names is endless – birth announcements, doctor’s appointments, school paperwork, camp sign ups, new classroom teachers, sports leagues, dance classes, parkour classes, therapy, play groups, meeting new friends, hospital admissions, bowling, birthday banners, art class, grief group…get my point?

Tip #2: Pass the Nickname Test

Your veto list is probably growing daily. We tend to avoid names that we have personal negative experiences with. Judy bullied you in school every day in 5th grade – veto. Bob pulled your pants down in front of the whole school – veto. Your ex husband’s name is Phoenix- veto. That list gets long.

Another criteria I kept in mind was the countless ways that people can use our names against us. Silly, I know. I just wanted to make life as easy on my kids as possible since other people aren’t as concerned.

And yes, kids can come up with shitty nicknames no matter what the actual name is, but why make it easier on them?

Tip #3: Avoid the Top 10 List

I was born in the late 70’s hence my very dated name – Amanda. Each era has names that were more popular and less popular. Every year, you can literally find a Top 100 list for girls & boys. My name was #9 for my year. Needless to say, my mom and I have different naming criteria.

My goal: avoid the Top 10. I wasn’t reaching for the most obscure names on the planet. I also wasn’t intending to make them use their last initial in every classroom of their school career. Those popular names are well, popular. They are used a lot so your child will meet lots of other kiddos with the same name. That can be cool but also annoying when they have to identify as Amanda S. because there are just too many to keep them straight.

Who doesn’t love the name Josh? It held a top spot for many decades running, and because of it’s prolonged popularity, my life was a bit confusing. My husband is a Josh, my brother, who lived with us, a Josh, and my teenager was dating, you guessed it, a Josh. You could also surmise that when my son was born and my husband wanted a Josh Jr…yeah, that didn’t happen.

It ended up that 2/3 of my children were named in the Top 100 for their year but way down the list. See, not too crazy, not too common – nice balance.

Funny sidebar: We were Americans, birthing in England – there was a whole military situation. I moved in the middle of my pregnancy, baby name firmly chosen, theme song and all. My name fit all of the criteria, for the U.S. I quickly realized that my attempt to avoid the Top 10 list was smashed when her name was on that list in another country.

Tip #4: Meaningful

I love the beauty of names, but I love the meaning even more. Sometimes, we pass down family names because that is meaningful and powerful to our lineage. You could choose a trait or attribute to imbue into your child. You might just find personal meaning in it.

When you are generating a list of baby names, you can find the actual meaning of every single one. Many have roots in languages or cultures that influence their meaning.

Some are simply practical – Mason: a builder and worker in stone

Some are ethereal – Luna: Roman goddess of the moon

Some are classic – Emma: universe

Some are modern inventions- Anakin: yep, Anakin Skywalker

You are choosing a name that vibes with your family on a personal level, and words are meaningful, including our names. We carry them with us forever.

Parent Tip #1: Love Saying It Yourself

You will say your child’s name frequently. Every single day, multiple times a day. You will use it in so many ways with different intonations, meanings, melodies and volumes. Make it a name that you love too. You should enjoy saying it because it is repetitive, just like every other part of parenting.

Make life easier on yourself. There are so many letters in the alphabet. Choose a different letter for each kid. I grew up with 3 brothers, all 3 with “J” names. Want to know what I was frequently called? J-Mandy. No joke! It was accidental, but that “J” sound was used so much it was reflexive.

Sidebar: It’s ok if you mix up your kid’s names. It happens all the time. Have pets? They all get mixed up. No judgement.

Parent Tip #2: Gender Neutral Considerations

This is an interesting situation that I am navigating at the moment. One of my kids is exploring their gender identity. This isn’t a post to promote or discount anyone’s path to finding themselves. I am just realizing that gender neutral names are empowering because it erases the binary. People are people, names are names.

How cool is it that we can reinvent ourselves by choosing a name that feels right for us? Many people don’t grow into their name, they grow out of it. That’s ok too. – See Parent Tip #3

Parent Tip #3: Your Kids Will Hate it Anyway

How many times have you wished you had a different name? Maybe you have actually legally changed your birth name or you use a different name in daily life. Your parents weren’t trying to punish you when they named you, but maybe it just doesn’t resonate with who you’ve become. Parents just do the best they can, and I’m sure you will too.

I am taking a moment to point out that no matter how painstakingly you choose the perfect name for your baby, they will probably grow up to dislike it regardless. (At least through the teen years.) These kids! I have 3 living, breathing examples of this.

#1: Faith: chosen because I was a devout Christian at the time but then….yeah. So she was only raised in the church for a portion of her life and now vehemently renounces all organized religion. Needless to say, doesn’t love the name. Oops! She was asking to change her name to Roxy by age 10.

#2 Ruby: loved the name; retro vibe was cool, met all the criteria, went into puberty and doesn’t identify with such a feminine gem of a name. I possibly should have gone more gender fluid, but there was no way for me to know who this little soul was yet. They are actively renaming themselves daily, and those non-gendered names are proving helpful.

#3 Jericho: maybe we went a bit off the rails here with such a unique name but he was the 3rd kid and sometimes we get wild after so many years of parenting; my husband did -huge fan of Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash – I will let you use your imagination as to his full name, complete with 2 middle names like we were actually British. He is almost 11, and wants to rename himself Philip. Just Philip. Nice & simple.

Naming is sticky business. We spend hours choosing names, saying names, lamenting names, loving names, regretting names & even renaming ourselves and in the end; it’s just part of life, part of finding ourselves.

The post Baby Naming Tips appeared first on Bare Birth.

Speedy Baby

Amanda Hilton — Sat, 05 Aug 2023 00:41:12 +0000

Precipitous Labor

aka Speedy Labor

Before you panic, precipitous labors, or fast labors, only make up about 2% of all births. It is considered precipitous if it lasts 1-3 hours, start to finish. 2/3 of my births have been precipitous so I do have some experience in this category. Let’s quickly go over precipitous labor, from a professional and personal viewpoint.

Nobody can predict if you will have an expedient birth. If you have already given birth before, you are more likely to experience it, and if you have already had a precipitous labor, it is very likely that you may experience a repeat. Please keep in mind that your mom’s precipitous labor stories don’t necessarily mean that you will follow the same pattern.

Labor Begins

In most fast labors, that early labor phase we talk about so fondly seems to get skipped over, completely. Early labor is a gentle warm-up time where your contractions slowly build in intensity & frequency.

You are encouraged to engage in activities that are nourishing and distracting. Eat up, rest up and binge watch comedies to prepare for the harder stages to come. Put plainly, ignore your contractions as long as possible to conserve your energy.

That is a really important marker. If your contractions begin, and they are coming hard & fast, big red flag. Early labor contractions can be anywhere from 5-30 minutes apart and are usually pretty mild – like you can walk and talk through them mild.

If it seems like you just skipped straight to active labor, pay attention. Contractions may be 2-5 minutes apart and last 1 minute or longer. They may demand your attention – translation – you are working hard with your body & breath during contractions – I repeat – you cannot ignore those surges running through you.

Your waters may or may not have broken yet. If you do have a huge gush of fluid + fast, intense contractions, same deal. Pay attention and proceed accordingly.

It usually takes a minute for your brain to catch up to your body.

If this is early labor, there is no way I can handle active labor!

I thought this was the easy part!

Oh wait, this isn’t early at all! Whoa!

My 1st Precipitous Birth Story

She was my 2nd birth, and a bit past EDD (but I knew it was just an estimate).
I woke up with contractions in the middle of the night.
I didn’t wake anyone else.
I went straight to the shower for relief.
Quickly realized this was most likely transition when I began puking.
It was so intense I barely made it back downstairs.
Dropped down on my hands & knees to moan and move which woke up my husband.
His response was “Oh shit!”
It was his first birth, and he actually started filling up the birth pool like we would be using it.
Birth tub abandoned, he called our birth doula instead who jumped in her car.
My 10 year old woke up to the labor, and helped me into the bathroom.
Mind you, even though I was a birth teacher, I didn’t think there was any way this was happening.
Sat on the toilet for a while hoping this intense urge was just a massive poop. It was both actually.
Next call that was made: 911 – midwives en route
Blanket down: check
All 4’s on the floor, my husband, best birth partner in the world, phone in one hand, catching his daughter with the other.
Lifted her through my legs, I turned around to lean on him with her on my chest.
Midwives arrived: smartass tween opens the door and exclaims: “Good timing!”
Doula arrives to help clean up the afterbirth aftermath.
Felt shocked for weeks at how that unfolded.

Where's the Midwife?

Or doctor or doula or nurse or anybody who can assist in this birth!?!

It’s now time to assess where to go from here. Your labor seems to have begun rapidly with intense, frequent contractions. Will you be having a possible, unassisted, unplanned, homebirth? Freebirthing is a thing!

You and hopefully your labor support, who is on hand and ready to assist, need to decide whether you stay home or head to your birth place. You will most likely call your healthcare provider or birthplace for advice.

You basically have two options:

Call 911 so professionals can head to you.
Get in your car quickly and head to them.

Sidenote: I do recommend your birth bag is packed by 37 weeks – be ready!

How do you make this decision? What signs are you looking for to help you decide?

Urge to push
Urge to poop
Intense pelvic/bum pressure
Crowning

If contractions are fast paced and intense, but there isn’t a huge pressure in your pelvic floor region yet, you many have time to make it to your birth provider. If you are really set on that option, make haste and fair winds to you.

How to Avoid Birthing in the Car

The answer is simple really, don’t get in the car!

If you checked in with your body, and any of signs 1-4 are present, don’t attempt to rush to your birth place. Your baby’s birth is imminent and they will most likely make their appearance en route.

Here is the quick and dirty when baby is ready to meet you:

Call 911. This really just makes you feel better about the whole unassisted bit, but they could make it to you in time. Even if they don’t, they will be handy if you need any extra assistance with the placenta or post birth procedures.
Put a blanket down if you have time (you have no idea how messy this is about to get).
Take off your pants. Seems fairly obvious, but I have seen quite a few women crown into their sweats.
Get grounded and get comfortable. All 4’s is a very natural position to take instinctively. Do what feels good to you though. It could be any variation on a squat or side lying position.
Pro Tip: Even if the 911 directions involve getting you onto your back, that is counterproductive and unnecessary. No unmedicated mammal lays back flat to get a baby down and out.
Someone needs to catch your baby when they exit.
Place them skin to skin so your chest can warm them. Cover you both with a blanket but keep contact with their skin.
They will be covered in birth goo. It is very well designed goo to insulate & protect them.
The cord will still be attached. Just leave it alone. The length of the cord might dictate their positioning on you, but they should be able to reach anywhere from your abdomen to your chest to make contact.
The blood vessels of the umbilical cord naturally clamp off. Still leaving it alone.
If you are still unattended and you feel pressure in your vagina or the urge to push, a tiny little push will usually yield the placenta or “afterbirth”. Catch it in a bowl if you can for your providers to examine later.
It can stay attached to your baby safely. Say it with me – leave it alone.
Allowing your baby to crawl up to your nipple and seek around for sustenance is nature’s way of releasing oxytocin + massaging your uterus to prevent bleeding.
Rest – you did it!
Be prepared to transfer. If you were planning to birth at a hospital, then the paramedics that you called in step #1 will usually take you in to get checked out. If you were birthing at home or in a birth center, call the midwives for directions, but they will most likely come check you out at home.

My 2nd Precipitous Birth

He was my 3rd baby, but I was ready this time for a speedy delivery.
My waters broke in bed in the wee hours of the morning. 1st time my labor began that way.
Little back and forth between the bathroom and the bed, sussing out true labor.
Contractions began.
My husband called the same doula that missed our last birth. I assured her that things weren’t as fast as last time and she could wait.
In her infinite doula wisdom and British proclivities, she proclaimed that she would just come knit in the corner, probably knowing full well this would be another quick one.
The pool is filling.
Rocking and swaying with my toddler on my hip. Finally had to hand her off.
Doula arrived 30 minutes later, and I already needed to get in the water so we filled up the bathtub while the birth tub was filling.
This time there were 2 other kids awake while I labored.
Intense contractions in the tub.
Moved to the big tub ASAP.
Feeling pushy.
Doula tells me to push if I need to, I didn’t want to poop in the water so held back a bit.
Midwife on her way. She was badass and drove a motorcycle so I can just envision her hauling ass on that thing.
Pushed & pooped for a bit. Fishnets are key components in a water birth!
This was the biggest baby, and even though I had only labored for a few hours, it felt like his crowning was taking forever.
All 4’s pushing in the water, begging him to come out.
My girls watched from the sidelines.
My toddler thought my loud primal pushing noises were hilarious and laughed while I pushed.
My son was born, still missing the midwife. My doula helped me lift him up to my chest and turn around.
It took him a while to fuss or cry which isn’t uncommon in waterbirths.
Once he started fussing, he didn’t stop for a long time.
3rd baby afterpains were so intense, maybe worse than the contractions!

More Precipitous Perspectives

“I was already planning a home birth so I didn’t feel as flustered about getting to my birth place. The only thing I was missing was the midwife.” -Me, births of Ruby & Jericho

“The smell of the fluid, blood and baby mess on our carpet smelled oddly like my hunting experiences growing up.” -my husband

“It felt like a huge wrecking ball was pushing its way out of my butt…I started screaming for my husband to call the hospital and do something.” – 2nd time mom who Ubered to the hospital in precipitous labor because her husband had to stay home with their toddler

“The experience was so empowering and terrifying at the same time.” – precipitous parent

“A 911 operator directed my husband to help me lie back. She asked him whether I could wait. I could not. That drive to push is old and animal and it lives deep inside a woman’s DNA. When your body tells you it’s time, you push.” – fast birth occurring at home with husband’s help

*Note the 911 operator directing them into a lying back position.

“The feeling of relief once the baby emerges is like nothing else in this world. It is more welcome, more gratifying, and more pleasurable than any other sensation I’ve experienced. It’s like being lifted above the world and out of your pain.” -mom after pushing with paramedics at home for 20 minutes

The post Speedy Baby appeared first on Bare Birth.

Sex & Birth

Amanda Hilton — Wed, 05 Jul 2023 16:31:15 +0000

Things Your Mom Never Told You About Birth

Birth Mirrors Sex

Two subjects that are too taboo to talk about in polite society – sex & birth – are both part of the same spectrum. Sex and birth mirror one another for a myriad of reasons but the simplest explanation is that they are both part of the same spectrum of sexuality, opposite ends but essentially the same.

I have been in the birth field for decades so naturally my 3 children have been exposed to birth as a very normal part of life. They have watched countless birth videos, explored my birthy props, attended live classes and have more of a grasp on the process than many adults.

I have a confession to make. I am still one of the moms that hasn’t told my kids that sex and birth are two sides of the same vagina-birth canal. (You guys know those are the same thing right? )

Sex & Shame

I have a lot of shame around sex so even though I have made the connections as a birth worker, I still have never said what I am about to say to you, to my own children. Sadly, they still fall into the same category of things your mom never told you about birth.

Full disclosure: I completely failed in the realm of open sex education with my oldest, but I have learned from my mistakes and the emerging tweens now come to me with lots of sex questions. Sometimes it’s awkward, but it is also building trust.

So stay with me while we discuss the beauty of this sexual spectrum that fills humans with pleasure, connection, beauty, passion, creativity and obviously, more humans.

Hormones

Oxytocin, mother of all things juicy, sexy & feminine, is the key hormone in both processes. Oxytocin also has a badass buddy, endorphins, which are your own natural opiates to increase pleasure, decrease pain and induce euphoria. Where oxytocin goes, endorphins follow so we have an awesome cocktail of hormones related to reproduction.

Oxytocin is a contracting hormone; aka the great ejector. Through muscle contraction, she gets out sperm, babies, placentas & human milk. We can see how at the very base physical level, oxytocin promotes birth by contracting the uterus, changing the cervix and pushing your baby down and out while it completes sex by contracting muscles in our sex organs to cause orgasm and ejaculation.

Emotionally, oxytocin is the great connector. It promotes feelings of well-being, pleasure, happiness, bonding and love. During sex, it connects us to our partners by pulsing out increasing levels that bathe us in pleasure and feelings of connection. During birth, it increases feelings of pleasure, engorges and lubricates the birth canal and the highest levels of circulating oxytocin we will ever have connect us with this little soul that just emerged from our bodies.

Birth Mirrors Sex: Oxytocin Edition

OXYTOCIN DURING SEX =

INCREASES FEELINGS OF PLEASURE & HAPPINESS
PRODUCES FEELINGS OF BONDING & LOVE WITH YOUR PARTNER
CAUSES MUSCLE CONTRACTIONS DURING ORGASM
EJECTS SPERM OUT OF A PENIS

OXYTOCIN DURING BIRTH =

INCREASES FEELINGS OF PLEASURE & DECREASED PAIN
PRODUCES FEELINGS OF BONDING & LOVE WITH YOUR BABY
CAUSES MUSCLE CONTRACTIONS – JUST CALLED “CONTRACTIONS”
THINS & OPENS THE CERVIX
PUSHES YOUR BABY DOWN & OUT

Environment

Set the scene:

dark: dimly lit, maybe flickering candles or fairy lights
warm: in the room or under blankets
safe: just your partner & their unconditional love
music: calm, rhythmic beats

Is this a sex scene or a birth scene? The easy answer is both. The environment that allows oxytocin to flow has all of these qualities so wherever you are on the spectrum, making a baby or birthing a baby, the scene is the same.

*Partner Tips: Your job during birth is to protect the space.

Purity Check

There are many reasons why this entire conversation makes us squirm. It can range from:

religious beliefs that frame sex as sinful and painful birth as punishment
learned shame around our bodies and sex organs
abuse of these sacred parts of our bodies
hyper sexualization of the female form which makes it hard to see the functional parts of anatomy
just simple embarrassment about our bodies
lack of exposure to their natural functions
misinformation about how our bodies work
lack of exposure or practice talking about our bodies in a healthy way

There is power in knowing how we are wired. Regardless of your beliefs, this is just biology. Our natural design uses the same hormones to initiate and complete both processes, without judgement or inhibition, just flowing through us, to assist our body’s optimal function. Hormones do not judge!

Positions

Yep, I’m going there. This is not the Kamasutra, just a quick overview of how the mirroring of getting a baby in and getting a baby out is reflected with our body positions.

I teach UFO’s when discussing body positions for optimal birth function – Upright, Forward, Open.

Your goal is to get your baby to navigate your pelvis by making as much space as possible & adding in gravity to help them move through.

Let’s discuss the variations that assist a baby moving down and out, and you can use your imagination as to how those were possibly used to help a baby in.

Just remember that most people associate a bed with just lying immobile, but modern birth beds in hospitals are very convertible – the whole bed can raise and lower, they shift in all sorts of ways – with the top lifted or bottom off, and they allow your body to move into the positions mentioned here.

Get creative, just like with sex – in or out of the bed!

Positions: All 4's

- drops uterus away from the spine to make more space
- eases back pressure/pain
- assists with sacrum mobility
- allows freedom of movement with your hips, swaying side to side, rocking front & back, tucking & untucking your pelvis or spiraling around in small or big circles
- great position through any stage of labor, including pushing

Positions: Side Lying

resting position
can promote passive pelvic opening with pillows or peanut balls between your knees/legs (yep, balls between your legs)
great with an epidural to assist in opening the pelvis and moving side to side when you cannot get upright or use your legs
nice pushing position that allows the sacrum to move out of the way and make more space for baby to exit

Positions: Squatting

deep squat opens the pelvic inlet to help your baby get into the top of the pelvis
higher squat assists with opening the bottom of the pelvis
upright uses gravity
you can use a squat bar on the hospital bed
use blocks, pillows, partners or chairs for support on any squat level
straddling your partner’s lap or sitting on a birth ball is a supported squat variation
squat if it feels good

Positions: Standing

utilizes gravity to help baby descend
free to move
slow dancing with partner – front or back
wide base with your feet to get your hips moving, sway side to side, spiral your hips to make more space in your pelvis
abdominal lift to assist fetal positioning
gyrate, shake, shimmy, bounce, tuck, twerk, dance!
people can push leaning or standing, usually with support

Positions: Asymmetry

makes more usable space in the pelvis
use hip gyrations, spirals, tucks or hip bumps
1 foot up on a stool (think Captain Morgan)
curb walking (1 foot up on the curb, 1 foot in the street)
walking up and down stairs
small lunges side to side, sitting back in your heels, with support
low lunge on the ground or in a bed allows a huge pelvic shift
hip shifts or circles in a low lunge to shapeshift your pelvis
lean over a birth ball for chest support with 1 leg in a low lunge
sumo style stomps – lifting 1 leg at a time and sitting low

Positions: Supine

If one of your favorite sex positions is the classic supine missionary position (flat on your back with your legs up), notice I left it off this list. That one is great for getting babies in, but not usually optimal for getting them out regardless of any birth scenes you have witnessed depicting a birth bed at the center of the activity.

Flat or even slightly reclined with your legs up has a few drawbacks on the birth side of things:

doesn’t utilize gravity to get your baby down – closer to pushing a baby uphill
legs pulled really far apart mimic a deep squat which closes off the escape hatch for your baby (bottom of the pelvis)
laying on your sacrum – which is actually a flexible bone that moves – makes it immobile and also makes your baby’s exit more narrow
it is usually more painful
as mammals, it feels less safe & more vulnerable
the only benefit to this position is so the birth provider can position your crotch at the end of the birth bed, pull up a stool and watch the show – of course, if they need to utilize tools, this is useful (assisted vaginal birth is only 1-4% of births)

Sounds

People make all sorts of sounds during sex…I mean birth. Breathing deeply or in a shallow, fast pattern, panting, low deep guttural sounds that blur the lines of pleasure and pain, higher pitched, repetitive noises, sighing, moaning, cussing, screaming unintelligible words, repeating phrases in a mantra-like fashion, finding a rhythm with a close support person and attuning to one another.

The sounds I am referring to allow your vocal energy to flow out of you versus stifling it inside of you. Think about free, fun, uninhibited romps versus hiding from the kids for a quickie in stealth mode. (Maybe you haven’t experienced this one yet, but you will soon.)

Many people feel a bit embarrassed watching a birth video because it sounds very familiar to sex. The low, deep, primal noises elicited with oxytocin flow relax the pelvic floor and open your body which is exactly what needs to happen during the pushing/releasing phase of labor.

Fluids

Birth is messy! It is accompanied by vaginal mucous, bloody show, amniotic fluid, birth goo covering your baby & sometimes even pee & poop – yours and theirs.

To put it plainly, we generally need to be lubed up to get a baby in and lubed up to get a baby out – it is just a messy, fluid-filled process all around.

Refractory Period

Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose, relax your jaw, let it flow out of your mouth.

I know this information can seem a little crazy at first. Adults are very familiar with one side of the spectrum, the sex side, while the birth side of the spectrum is mostly foreign.

Hopefully, you will just realize that you are actually more prepared for birth than you thought because you have already been practicing for it with your breath and body.

There are also innovative reproductive technologies that allow babies to take root in us without some of the biological processes discussed here. However a baby arrives in your womb, you have the skills to get it out. Enjoy the practice!

Remember that in order to keep the oxytocin flowing, the environment must be protected, so grab some flameless candles, make a playlist, buy a birth ball and get moving in your safe, protected sex den, I mean, birthing space.

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