Rookie Birth Preparation Mistakes
From a Veteran Childbirth Educator
After teaching birth prep for 20 years, attending 2 separate childbirth classes for myself and giving birth to my own 3 kiddos, I have seen a lot in the birth classroom. I have observed repetitive themes over and over, and I would love to give you rookies some veteran advice so you can enjoy the process just a little bit more.
Below are the most common mistakes that I see on repeat.
No Prep at All
Only about half of all 1st time pregnant families attend a childbirth preparation course. Unless you are fully steeped in birth culture, which most people in the West are not, there is probably a lot to learn about this major life event happening to your mind & body.
Even if you work in the birth realm, you are about to embark on this journey from the other side. It is beneficial for anyone about to go through labor to ponder the best possible choices for themselves.
Trust me, I have labor nurses, pediatricians, anesthesiologists and the occasional O.B. pass through class because they are now viewing birth through an entirely different lens. Being on the receiving end of an internal exam will do that.
I also get the occasional 2nd time birther who didn’t do class with the first pregnancy and learned their lesson – the more you know, the better.
Avoiding Birth
I get it, birth can seem scary, especially when everyone you encounter feels the need to debrief their traumatic birth story to you.
Many pregnant people avoid reading about labor, listening to podcasts, watching birth videos or taking classes because they want to avoid it entirely.
Now is probably not the time. Now is the time to gain different perspectives, learn about the process, collect a variety of birth stories and explore what type of birth you would like. It might seem scary at first, but it prepares you so that it doesn’t feel so scary when it is actually happening to you. Fear does not promote labor, it shuts it down.
Skipping Birth Classes
I know you are busy. I know your partner is busy. I know that birth classes are a commitment in your already overcommitted life. If you can clear just a few extra hours to make sure you soak up all the information, birth will make much more sense.
If we put as many hours into prepping for birth as we did planning vacations, weddings or other events, we would be set.
How many hours did you possibly spend finding just the right venue for a wedding? How about finding just the right venue for your baby to make their debut? Did you debate which photographer was the right fit for you? Ensuring that you and your birth provider are on the same page is priceless.
Don’t skip that class if at all possible, or at least find a make-up to make sure you don’t have gaps in your information.
Dismissing Movement
This is a biggie! There are so many birth options available – homebirth, birth centers, hospitals, obstetricians, midwives, family practice doctors, medications, doulas….
On the most basic physiologic level, when you move your body in labor, your baby can move their body to navigate through. Even if you are planning an epidural, which impedes movement, knowing how to optimally use your body is an amazing labor tool.
Every good birth class practices movements that make more space for baby and promote labor. I have had participants refuse to move on the basis of their epidural choice in labor. That is valid, we don’t move a lot with an epidural, but what about prior to that? Most labors don’t start at the hospital so most labors require some coping skills before you are admitted and it can even be administered.
Even if you are induced, adding an epidural in after the 1st contraction isn’t productive and you will still have lots of movement time while labor builds in intensity.
Some level of modified movement that feels good in your body can ease discomfort, promote labor progress, assist your baby’s movement and shorten labor time. Give it a go!
Going Solo
Many people choose solo parenting, but many people with partners arrive at class alone. If you have a partner that is going to be attending the birth, then they should also be attending classes with you.
I know it can be hard to make it to class, but a partner that is wholly unprepared to give quality support is more of a hindrance than an asset.
Birth classes are geared for partners with hands-on techniques, labor etiquette and ways to take care of your own needs so you can be the best support possible.
If you have a partner unwilling or unable to attend classes, I would consider a birth doula or other family or friend who is well-versed in birth to provide great support.
Misalignment with Providers
Your birth place and birth provider are the two biggest choices you make during pregnancy that influence your birth outcome.
Make sure that your provider aligns with your birth values. They can have a lovely office and be really great humans but have a differing view on what birth looks like.
If you want a highly medically managed birth with all the medications and surgeons on hand – a hospital with your obstetrician sounds like a good fit.
If you desire a hands-off, unmedicated approach, a team of midwives, possibly out of hospital, are amazing at supporting physiologic birth.
There is no right or wrong, but there can be a right or wrong for you. Your provider should feel supportive and encouraging when you share your ideas for birth with them. If you are dismissed, not heard or generally don’t feel great about your interactions, it is never too late to change providers.
Find the Right Birth Prep for You
There are so many great options for childbirth preparation. There are programs focused on movement, hypnobirthing, planned Cesareans, Lamaze techniques, homebirthing, preparing for the hospital, the list is really endless and you should be able to find one that falls into one of the categories below.
- Local, live classes
- Online, in-person cohorts
- Virtual, self-paced programs
Find one that resonates with you, and for the love of birth, just take it!